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After six long and grueling days of tense diplomacy, the world has finally agreed that an authoritarian, megalomaniacal zealot having a cache of nuclear weapons is, all things considered, maybe not such a great idea. But we're never going to get Bush to give up the bomb, so let's focus on North Korea.

By a vote of 15-0, the U.N. Security Council condemned the North's claimed nuclear test and sent a strong message to Kim Jong Il. That message: Wherever you go, whatever you do, the world will be watching - ready to scold you in triplicate within 12 to 15 business days.

Let's break down the events of the weekend by thinking of the world as a family driving in a car. North Korea is one of the children in the back seat, and that precocious little scamp is making quite a racket with his thermonuclear weapon.

Essentially, what the U.N. Security Council - or “Dad� - has said is: “Do not make me turn this multilateral international organization around or I swear I will hit you with the terms of a revised draft resolution pursuant to Article 41.� And that kinda freaked North Korea out for a minute. But then Mommy China turned around and mouthed the words, “Don't worry sweetums,� and winked, and a relieved North Korea immediately clubbed Japan over the head with a Twizzler.

My point is this: Run for your lives.

Same old, same old at the final Liberal leadership debate yesterday. Martha Hall Findlay informed everyone that it's the 21st century now. Ken Dryden got choked up talking about rocks and trees. Joe Volpe referred to himself in the third person. Good times.

The real fun came when Bob Rae and Michael Ignatieff went at each other - after five debates, finally some red hot nerd-on-nerd action!

Iggy said something about not knowing where Rae stands on the Afghanistan mission. But then Rae said that's pretty rich coming from a guy who changed his mind on the Middle East three times in a week. Did not, said Ignatieff. Did too, said Rae. At that exact moment, though he was hundreds of miles away, Stephen Harper paused at what he was doing, shivered slightly and remarked: “Suddenly, I feel incredibly horny.�

By the way, Ignatieff says he will travel to Israel next month to learn more about the missile attack that he first said he wasn't losing sleep over, then declared a war crime, and - judging from this pattern - will soon describe as his favourite episode of Sanford & Son.

Why Israel? Why now? Because the first rule of damage control is to dwell on your mistake, use every opportunity to remind people of it, ensure that your gaffe gets the widest possible publicity - and then, and only then, put yourself in a no-win situation in which you compound your misstep with further dodging and equivocation. It's all there in the helpful textbook: Politics for Dummies for Dummies.

Ban Ki Moon, a career diplomat from South Korea, has been named to succeed Kofi Annan as U.N. secretary general on Jan. 1. In congratulatory remarks to Ban, member nations said they sincerely look forward to sucking him completely dry of optimism before springtime.

In welcoming Ban, Annan recalled the words of the first UN secretary general to his successor: “You are about to take over the most impossible job on Earth.� Ban laughed politely, declining to point out that everyone knows the new most impossible job on Earth is serving as Rosie O'Donnell's shut-the-hell-upper.

That's it. You're weekday updated. The Globe has a piece this morning about how the federal government may privatize the national housing agency CMHC. The move would raise billons of dollars and upset social-housing advocates. Or, as Stephen Harper calls it, a win-win.